In its latest Kindle commercial, Amazon.com trots out self-absorbed twentysomethings in trendy clothes who hang out in coffee bars and invade each other’s personal space. The Kindle’s glare-free display—a key selling point vs. the iPad—allows the wannabe hipsters to read and slack off outdoors, too, annoying the rest of us in broad daylight. Does the target audience really identify with these people? They look like refugees from a sitcom so vapid, even Fox wouldn’t put it on the air. Besides, they’re prettier than I am and dress better than I do, and I resent it. They’ve probably never read a book in their lives. Well, maybe Jonathan Franzen, but that barely counts as reading. I say: Bring back the ice queen! Remember her from that Kindle spot year? She wore a black bikini and designer shades, lounged poolside and lorded it over some tablet-toting schlub because she could read the Kindle’s screen in bright sunlight. She was so smug and aloof … she was smokin’ hot! I imagine her downloading the collected writings of the Marquis de Sade. But don’t read too much into that.