This Condom Brand’s Messenger Bot Analyzes Your Voice and Tells You How Sexy It Is

For your blooming phone-sex-operator career

Headshot of Angela Natividad

Has anyone ever told you that you have a sexy voice?

Now you can find out just how sexy it is with condom maker Skyn’s Facebook Messenger-based voice analyzer, a chat bot that rates voices by sensuality, mystery, intensity and sophistication.

To try it, visit the site and pop in a recording of your voice when prompted. In the event that you feel weird about pillow-talking a robot, the bot’s kind enough to offer you a ready-made phrase. (We just stuck with our first thought—”I feel weird pillow-talking a robot.”)

Created by Sid Lee Paris with digital production by Jam3, the bot then sets to work at analyzing your voice. The system can distinguish between male and female voices, and interpret multiple languages, including English, Italian, French, Portuguese and Polish.

Here are our results.

It isn’t clear how the analysis works (how does one measure “mystery”?). We tried it twice and the percentages changed, though overall results were more or less the same—mysterious and sensual, while hopelessly wanting in sophistication and intensity. You probably knew that already, though.

The bot then kicks you to Skyn’s website, where you can check out which of its condom boxes suit you best. The voice analyzer is meant to be a promotion for its newest Unknown Pleasure collection, a grab-bag of warming, cooling, tingling, textured and even cocktail-flavored condoms.

Instead, though, we were sent to the homepage and given the option to watch the Australian version of its “Feel Everything” ad in “Safe for Work,” “Feel Everything” or “Not Safe for Work” modes. (In case you wondered—because we did—the main difference between “Feel Everything” and “Not Safe for Work” is that the latter has similar quick-shots of passionate lovemaking, except with more ass-grabbing. Meanwhile, “Safe for Work” still has sexy quick-shots, but it’s mostly intimate giggling and sheet-grabbing.)

Below is “Feel Everything” in “Feel Everything” mode. The ad’s been on air for at least a year and has been released in multiple countries.

While hanging out on Skyn’s website (and observing that there’s something so much more illicit about shopping for condoms versus, say, birth control pills), we also found the brand’s 2017 Millennial Sex Survey, which afforded many a LOL.

Among other findings, 48 percent of millennials said they sext at least once a week—but don’t send us pics! 30 percent have shared a sexy shot without permission.

The most sexually-active city in the U.S. is New York. Surprisingly, though, Houston is actually the top destination for a one-night stand.

We also masturbated more than last year, and are fans of the missionary position when coupled up (probably because it’s just less effort. I mean, come on). 

Anywho, give the voice analyzer a go. It takes less than a minute, and you can even share your results across social channels. (Don’t act like you don’t want to. We’re probably going to end up sharing lots more in the future, on top of our partners’ sexy pics.)

Agency: Sid Lee, Paris/Amsterdam
Creative Directors: Este Du Plessis & Darren Cronje
Senior Creative: Johan Jeansson
Head of Production: David Bismut
Group Business Director: Mehdi Benali
Account Supervisor: Héloïse Marchal

Client: Skyn
Associate Director, Global Marketing SKYN®: Marta Toth
Global Brand Marketing Manager SKYN®: Nicolas Woussen

Executive Producer: David Letourneau
Producer: Madison Hayhoe
Executive Creative Director: Pablo Vio
Creative Director: Greg Bolton
Copy Writer: Alina Kulesh
Designer: Pedro Barroso
UX Designer: Candy Lee
Technical Director: Aaron Morris
Lead Developer: Nick Poisson
QA Specialist: Erin Ray

@luckthelady Angela Natividad is a frequent contributor to Adweek's creativity blog, AdFreak. She is also the author of Generation Creation and co-founder of Hurrah, an esports agency. She lives in Paris and when she isn't writing, she can be found picking food off your plate.