Breaking Down the Magazine Super Bowl Parties

Before the Giants win the Super Bowl on Sunday, there are parties to be had. The New York Post reports that ESPN The Magazine, Rolling StoneMaxim and Playboy are all having festivities, starting tonight. Since we won’t be attending them, let’s break down what we’re missing.

ESPN is kicking things off tonight with a party featuring a performance by Drake. Cam Newton will be the guest of honor, which is cool, but Drake — a man who sings about love, longing to love and loving love — isn’t a guy that we associate with letting loose.

This is Rolling Stone’s first Super Bowl party, and it’s bringing LMFAO, Lupe Fiasco, Cobra Starship and Gym Class Heroes to entertain guests. A ticket for the magazine’s Saturday party is $1,000.

Maxim is throwing two parties. One on Sunday afternoon and one that night. The first one, according to Maxim President Ben Madden, will be for the commoners. “With other brands, whether it’s Playboy or Sports Illustrated, the focus is on swimsuit models,” Madden told Reuters. “It’s not like that at a Maxim event. We focus on attainable celebs, and attainable girls. We always feature beautiful girls you might run in to at a Starbucks.”

We’re sure the celebrities coming to the afternoon party are thrilled about being called “attainable.” The night party is obviously much more chic; no baristas allowed.

Playboy, the magazine that pioneered the extravagant Super Bowl party, is sadly having Ne-Yo perform. Times have certainly changed.