Daily Caller Execs to Invade Morning Traffic

Watch out Washington motorists and pedestrians.

On Tuesday morning life as we know it will be forever altered as Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson and Chief Technology Officer Brian Danza engage in a two-mile battle royal as they fight traffic en route to Fox News HQ. Carlson will travel by scooter (his wife’s scooter, if it’s the same one he’s been using) and Danza, by bicycle.

They’re calling it the Tour de Caller (presumably after Lance Armstrong, who’s quite popular these days). The race was only recently brainstormed. “Tucker has a habit of making fun of me when I ride my bike to work, so a couple of weeks ago while Neil, Tucker, and I were talking about the pro’s and cons of different vehicles in rush hour traffic,” said Danza. “I stated that I could beat him from any point to any point downtown, me on my bike, him in any vehicle, including his scooter.”

The race isn’t without trash talking. Feminists take note. On The Daily Caller website, Danza called Carlson “fat, lazy, uncoordinated, girly and old.” Carlson steered clear of personal insults and instead said, “My throttle wrist is catlike in its quickness, and in this race that’s what matters. “In the end, hubris will undo Danza, as it inevitably does dictators and second-term presidents,” Carlson continued. “I plan to be magnanimous in victory, with a tastefully understated celebration that may or may not include fireworks and dancing elephants.”

Danza tells FishbowlDC simply, “Yes, I can definitely beat him.” (Pictured above is the bike he’ll be using.)