Deepak Chopra Takes Full Responsibility for SoCal Quake

That earthquake yesterday was not one of our finer moments, Southern California. First off it was a massive quake in another country and we made it all about us and our pool water sloshing. Speaking of making it about themselves, Deepak Chopra did a SoCal equivalent of a Pat Robertson using a natural phenomenon to tout his religious views. The formula being,”Something happened, here’s how that fits into my worldview.”

But mostly it was the Easter second tier local news crews reading masses of tweets on air in the wake of the shaking. All of them saying the same thing,”I felt it!” and “my lamp was swaying!” And the fill-ins considered it information germane to covering a 7.2 earthquake in an highly populated part of the world.

“Felt it in Anaheim!”

But really it was an earthquake that showed the rest of the world what they think about us is absolutely true: we all have pools and video cameras, we’re melodramatic about everything using it as a demand to be on TV, our local news is toothless and our religious leaders are just as bizarre as this new trend of rehab for infidelity and racism.