Run, Don’t Walk, Away from These Movie Ad Quotes

The Friday LA Times Calendar section is always good for a head scratch or two, beyond whatever the day’s uneven comics may provide. That’s because the extra helping of embedded movie ads inevitably contains a number of critic “pull quotes” that make zero literal sense.

So, as we head into another moviegoing weekend, consider these nuggets of extracted September 16 promotional wisdom (and make up your own punch lines):

Straw Dogs
“If your heart isn’t racing by the end of this movie, then you have no heart.”
Kevin Steincross / FOX-TV

“You can get buzzed just from the fumes coming off this wild thing.”
Peter Travers / Rolling Stone

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon meets Sherlock Holmes, only a lot more fun.”
Unattributed / New York magazine

“The movie will do a number on you.”
Joshua Ropkopf / Time Out New York

“An incredible stand-on-your-feet crowd pleaser!”
Kevin Taft / EDGE BOSTON

@hollywoodspin Richard Horgan is co-editor of Fishbowl.