Are You Smarter Than A Weingarten?

Sadly, Gene Weingarten is on vacation this week, so we weren’t able to bring you our analysis of his latest piece of garbage column for WaPo. That won’t stop us from unveiling a new Gene look-alike. It’s a mustachioed bag of trash at a D.C. area metro station! Looks just like him.

Even though Gene is out, WaPo sent out a tweet asking, “Are you as smart as a Weingarten?” I certainly hope so. To be honest, I feel insulted they even asked. Gene has fallen into a repetitive pattern of hackneyed jokes and boring topics, so I feel pretty good about my chances.

The link leads back to a series of logic puzzles from Gene. No one bothers asking why in the world I would want to do a logic puzzle from an unfunny humorist. I guess that’s not important.

What kind of brain twisters does Gene give his readers? Here’s a description:

“As promised, today I will deliver two logic puzzles, with their answers. The first is the 12 Billiard Ball Problem, which I did at age 12, via staying home from school feigning illness. As I recall, it took me 16 hours. I will also give you a study guide to how to solve it, assuming you are stumped but don’t want to jump right to the solution, like the big ol wuss you are.”

Remember, Gene is supposed to be the “humorist” at WaPo. Why on Earth would anyone give a shit about Gene and his weird logic puzzles? When I was 12, I’d skip school to look at nudie magazines, not nerd out on word problems.

If you’re a glutton for punishment, click away and test your brain on these puzzlers. Either I’m too dumb to figure them out, or a more likely answer is: I just don’t care.