Letter to Bret Baier: Watch Out for the Fellow

Dear  Bret Baier,

Here’s the tip-off. Eric Hananoki, that tweeting weisel over at Media Matters, is already plotting to break into your seriously kick-ass Twitter trivia contest on Monday afternoon.

Last week the research fellow joined in on the G-rated fun, won your contest about a toad and watched in slow motion horror as you awarded his prize to someone else – a clearly better someone who doesn’t work at Media Matters. He tagged on a pointed question about your FNC colleague Bill Sammon, a disgusting move for a research fellow taking time away from his afternoon ping pong game to participate in your trivia. Now you’ve blocked him on Twitter — a pivotal act as you take your game to the next level: Actual frogs. News of you blocking him shattered the concrete walls at Media Matters just before lunch today.

Good thought — ruin those monsters’ lunches. We don’t blame you.

But here’s the thing: He’s technologically savvy, rabid and liberal. He thinks your trivia contest should be open to all and wants back in. He also has the audacity to still want your prizes — Fox News ties and such — which would get him stuffed into a closet if he wore the neckwear to work. “I would still trade the prize of an FNC tie – value $15.95 — for Baier’s reaction to Bill Sammon’s recent admission,” he told FishbowlDC. Hananoki then went into a long-winded explanation of what Sammon said. It was a long sentence that could make a person choke, something ridiculous about Sammon saying he pushed some “mischievous speculation” about POTUS that he found rather “far-fetched.”

In goody two shoes fashion, he said NBC “Meet the Press” Executive Producer Betsy Fischer gave him a mug when he won her trivia contest. “Though to be fair, I didn’t pair it with any questions,” he reasoned.

Here’s what we say to you Baier. F&@k fair. Don’t let him back in. We’ve enclosed his mug above so you can be on the lookout.

Yours truly,