Michael Wolff Hates Everything, Volume 7,459

As anyone who follows the media beat knows, Michael Wolff pretty much hates everything, and that’s what makes him sort of fun. He’ll pan anyone and everything having to do with media, no matter who they are or how successful a company has been in the past. Nothing matters, because everything is terrible. Wolff is so grumpy that if given the chance, he’d pen a 2,500 word column on the downfall of ice cream. “The cone strategy is flawed! Sprinkles don’t resonate with today’s youth!”

The latest display of Wolff’s all world hate happened during a talk with Hearst Magazines’ president, David Carey. Here are just some of the people and companies that Wolff blasted, via Digiday:

  • The New York Times — “I can’t see the Times continuing unless Michael Bloomberg buys it.”
  • Ezra Klein and Kara Swisher — “I don’t know what they’re thinking, what they’re smoking. Nobody knows anything about selling an ad, nobody knows anything about aggregating an audience.”
  • Marrissa Mayer — “[She] does not know anything about the media business”
  • Yahoo — “As far as I can tell, Yahoo as we know it has no value. They could just as easily close it down.”
  • The future of online ads — “I am deeply pessimistic.”

Here’s hoping Wolff uses that last statement as his new Twitter bio.